8 lbs!

That's how much I gained in the three weeks I've not been to Weight Watchers!  Can you believe it!  It's sad really.  I have only myself to blame.  I really didn't think it would be that much, though.  It goes to show that habits are hard to break.  Now, in my defense, I weighed in after I had been sitting outside in 100 degree heat with about 95% humidity for over an hour watching Amelia at soccer practice.  My ankles were swollen about double their normal size.   I didn't have time to sit down and put my feet up once I got home.  I had to make dinner and then go to the meeting.  Even my fingers were swollen!  I could not have removed my wedding ring if I tried!

Since Amelia's soccer practices are on Mondays, I've made an arrangement with her coach that I drop her off at 3pm...and then pick her up at 4:15pm.  That way, my weigh in at 5:30pm will be much more accurate because I won't be sitting outside in the sweltering heat...blowing up like a balloon.  Originally, my plan was to do a one hour power walk around the soccer field during their practices to get my activity points.  However,  I now see that doing that on a weigh in day is not a good idea.

Anyway, I'm back to it. This is going to be a long haul.  This is going to be my life.  There will be times when I will fall off the wagon and gain some back.  I just have to remain positive and not get discouraged.  I am not perfect and my weight loss journey will not be without hiccups.    I have GOT to find something else to deal with stress other than food.  This is my new goal...to do something else when all I really want to do is to eat!  I have never understood why food is so soothing or why it is that when I am feeling stressed, all I can think about is what my next meal will be. 

I'd like to be able to turn my desire for food into a desire for prayer.  Instead of stuffing my face, I'd like to be able to stop what I'm doing...think...and then pray.  Perhaps  I can make some changes this week.  Who knows!  Anything is possible.

I didn't go....

I didn't go to Weight Watchers last night.  Although I didn't feel great yesterday because of some intestinal issues, this wasn't the reason I decided against going.  The reason is simple...I just didn't want the disappointment of a gain because of my "falling off the wagon" last week.

If I were to be truthful (and....I AM), I think the reason for the intestinal issues was because I went off of the program for several days.  It's funny how I had really started to feel good....no upset tummy, no intestinal problems, no headaches!  Everything was getting better!  I had more energy and I was just feeling good overall! 

Leave it to me to ruin a good thing.

However, you'll be happy to know that I'm back on the wagon and I WILL go to my weigh in this coming Monday!  No matter what the scale says...I WILL submit to it!  My personal goal was to lose 10% by Christmas.  I think that was a reasonable goal....one that was (is) attainable. 

Someday, when I reach my goal of losing 100 lbs, I want to look back on this post as a learning experience.  I want to look at it as a bump in the road, one that didn't stop me from getting where I need to be.

Here's to a better week....ON PROGRAM!!

Question

I had something weird happen after I logged my stats on the WW website last week.  I got a notice from the site administrators that I'm losing weight too fast and that it could be very dangerous for my heart to continue to loss weight at my current rate.  Now, I agree that it is probably not safe to lose weight too quickly....but are they not aware that I was almost 300 lbs???  I could see being concerned if I only had 25 or 30 lbs to lose...but I have over 100 lbs to lose!

I'm not doing anything unhealthy.  I'm following the plan exactly like they want you to.  I'm eating my fruits and vegetables, my good fats, whole grains and drinking my water.  About the only thing I have a hard time doing is getting in my milk.  I'm just not a milk drinker and unless I eat yogurt or cheese....I more than likely don't get those servings in.

After this little "announcement" from WW, I'm somewhat worried.  I don't want to finally start losing weight and then suddenly have a heart attack.  But at the same time....my GOAL is to lose weight!  The bottom line is that obviously, I'm burning more calories than I'm taking in.  For anyone who is overweight....this is a GOOD thing!  Now, I'm second guessing myself.

Should I contact Weight Watchers about this...or should I call my doctor?  Or, should I just forget it and continue doing what I'm doing?  Why?  Why do they do this to me when I'm finally making some progress?  It seems that even Weight Watchers is trying to sabotage me!  Who'd a thunk it?

Snag!

It hit a small bump in the road today.  I went to Quizno's for dinner.  It was a spur of the moment thing.  I had to run to Staples to get something laminated and it's just right next door.  It was almost 6pm and I hadn't eaten yet.  I ordered a "Classic Club" on whole wheat.  It had lots of tomatoes and lettuce....but I also had MAYO!  From what I have been able to gather...that sucker was worth about 10 points!  Not as much as I thought!  I also had a bag of Baked Lays.  Plus, I had a couple of bites of Amelia's sandwich that she didn't finish.  Still, it looks like I have about 9 points left for the day!

I feel so guilty....almost like I've done something naughty.  I've been so careful about eating only healthy things.  This was definitely not the healthiest meal.  Still, I logged it and I've fessed up!

The weight is not coming off as fast as I'd like.  I broke my own vow and stepped on my bathroom scale today.  There is about 2 lbs difference between what I weigh at Weight Watchers and what I weigh at home.  I would feel such relief if I could break through into the 270's.  I'm teetering right on the edge.  The scale is taunting me.  I want it so bad...I can' taste it!  And then, I went and had QUIZNO's tonight!  What a dummy!

I will stick to fruits, vegetables and protein over the weekend.  Hopefully this will help me get to my goal on Monday.  Once I hit 279 or lower, I will make my next goal the 260's!  This way, I'm only focusing on 10 lbs at a time.  I never thought I'd be looking forward to 279!

Struggles

I'm struggling today.  Losing weight takes so much effort and to be honest, I'm feeling a little resentful about it!  It takes a lot of time to plan out your eating for the day...calculate points, write everything down.

Keeping a food log is essential on the Weight Watcher program.  I try to follow the rules exactly in hopes that this will lead to success.  It is very tedious.  Especially since what I'd really like to do, is just eat and forget it!

I had 28 points left after lunch.  I made burgers (no buns), mac & cheese and fresh green beans  for dinner.  I had to weigh my turkey burgers and then I had to calculate the points for the mac & cheese.  The nutritional information on the box is for the DRY MIX!  Now, I don't know about you, but I don't eat mac & cheese right out of the box.  I like to cook mine first!  You have to add milk and butter (or margarine).  So, I spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out how many points one half of a cup of mac & cheese was with 1% milk and real butter!  By the time I measured out my portion and calculated out the points.....I didn't even want to eat it! 

After eating 2 turkey burgers (I was hungry!), the 1/2 cup of mac & cheese and a healthy portion of fresh steamed green beans mixed with olive oil and balsamic vinegar....I had 3 points left!  That was a 25 point dinner and it wasn't even worth it!

This is why I really wanted to do a "pre packaged" diet like Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem.  Because of all the preparation (planning,weighing and measuring and journaling), it makes me feel as though I'm thinking about food ALL DAY LONG!  And you know what...I am!

I've learned from my previous stints with Weight Watchers, that as time goes on I won't need to "think" so much as it will become more of a habit than a chore.  But right now, all I know is that I'm thinking about food way more than I want to.  I'm tired of thinking about food when I get up....when I get to work....when my stomach is making those weird sounds, when I get home....blah, blah, blah.

I'd like to eat like a normal person....just for awhile, to see what it's like.