First Meeting

Well, I made it to my first Weight Watcher meeting last night.  The sign up process was quick for a couple of reasons...first, I'm already in their computer from all the other attempts I've made and second, I already signed up for the Monthly Pass online.  It all went smoothly.

It seems like a good group of people.  I'm not sure about the leader yet.  I can't really tell if English is her first language or not.  There seems to be a slight accent there.  She kept pronouncing the word "essentials" as "essentuals".  For whatever reason, that struck me as funny.  She knows her stuff though and seems to be a good motivator.

The weigh in went OK.  That's always the hardest part for me.  When I step on the scale, I'm forced to face all of my emotional food demons.  I'm forced to realize that this is a very serious situation and if I don't do something now, I will die.

So, now is the time to share with the world what I'm fighting against.  Here is the particulars:

Height:  5'8
Weight:  294.5
Dress Size:  24
Shirt Size:  3X
Pants Size:  24

There it is.  All of it.  That's everything I've been hiding for all of these years.  Now everyone knows that I can't shop in a regular store.  Now everyone will know that I couldn't ride the Harry Potter ride a few weeks ago when our family went to Universal.  I was too fat.  Now, everyone will know that on two of the four flights that I took in May to go to Rome, I had to use a seat belt extension.  Now...everybody knows.
This is humiliating.  But I HAD to share this.

I know that I'll never be thin.  I just want to be at a place where I can buy clothes in a normal store.  I want to be able to fly and ride amusement park rides without the worry of being turned away.  I want to be able to walk around in public and not have strangers notice me because of my weight.  I don't want my kids to be teased because of me.  I just want food to stop being an obsession.

I think it's also important to share some photos of me.  These first couple of pictures are of me in my early adulthood.  I wanted you to be able to see that there is a thinner person within me and that I used to look normal......

This is me at about 18 years old.  I had NO stomach and look at those small arms.

This was me at about 19 or 20 at a friends wedding.  Although the stripes don't do me any justice...I had a very small waist....and only one chin.

This is me in the late 80's.  Still looking pretty slender and still only one chin.  This is where my emotional eating began.

This, of course, is my high school graduation picture.

This is my wedding picture...1997.

September 2001, my son was a year old.  Getting bigger.....

2005, after my second child was a year old.

Easter 2006

Going through chemo, 2008

January 2009 at Walt Disney World with Nathan (still no hair).

December 2009

February 2010...always hiding behind someone

Great Smokey Mountains, August 2010

January 2011, Universal

This is me and my best friend Becky on our way to Rome, May 2011

So there you have it.  This is me.  This is me at almost 300 pounds.  How did I ever get to this place?

My goal is to reach 200 lbs....that means I need to lose almost 96 pounds.  It almost sounds impossible.  But I'm going to stick with it and see where this goes.

I'm going to do my best NOT to weight myself at home.  Curiosity will probably kill me, but I'm really going to resist the need to weight everyday.  I will post my weight loss (or gain) every week.  I won't bore you with my menu plans or points for the day, except if I find a really good recipe I think is worth sharing.  I will share my struggles and successes as well as thoughts about the Weight Watcher program.  I will also post a picture of me monthly!  Let's hope each month, you will see less and less of me.

Thank you for your support!